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Bullies? Understanding Bullies?

Na, not in this life.    Let’s ‘understand’ the targets (of bullies) first!

A note on the topic of bullies and understanding them:

“It is sad to see that so many articles are favoring the bullies by first seeking to find out their reason for bullying. Society needs to come to the plate and really first handle the important task of making the  target of the bully feel safe, protected and heard.

Our society has too much emphasis on making bullies feel “heard” .

 

Let’s listen to the targets, the victims , first and  let the officials, the Deans,  the authorities  or police handle the bullies.  Most seem to forget that most targets are bullied for months or even years before the bullying comes to light . So in a case like that, the target, the victim, the target of the bully really needs to be separated from the bully and the authorities or teachers or those in control of the education systems should take their heads out of the sand and put it on hold a bit as they continue to try to “understand” the bully. I get it that yes, eventually you need to understand the why of it, but not first before putting a space, a distance between the bully and the bully’s target. The school and the officials get it right as they first begin to understand the “target” of the bully rather than trying first to understand the “bully” . There are thousands of people that have had tough lives and yet they don’t resort to bullying. So, as a society, it is not correct to assume that ‘bullies” have a ‘reason’ for bullying. There’s no reason and there are no excuses. This is just another opinion, from a different point of view” . – artfromperry .justbreathe15

In and throughout our school systems and centers there is a theme going on and around. It appears that (some) think that the solution is to understand the bully.

Imagine if you went to court with a murderer — and the victim’s family there — ,  do you think that trying to “understand” the murderer helps the victims or the targets of the murderer?

Somebody needs to come up with  better ideas on handling school and center problems.

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An Old Article I Just Located

FIRST – I wrote my own article here – below – and after that article, I gave a link to a wonderful article about the  NPD bullies of the world.  This is my own article beginning here:

As Thanksgiving comes near, and as the Christmas and many other Holy Days and holidays come around, I hope that those of us who have a very ‘distant-distant-distant relationship with a  “NPD”  (narcissistic personality disordered bully), stick to the plan and don’t cave.    Never cave in.   Let’s put it this way, just because holidays and Holy Days come around, this does not mean – at all-  that you have to get in touch with a person that you have crossed off your list (of connections), even if the person is an original family member  (i.e. a biological parent).

Stand your ground when it comes to emotions, connections and holidays and Holy Days.     During the Holy Days and holidays, some less-experienced victims of  ‘NPD bullies’ will cave to the emotional pressure that most of society puts on people.   Don’t cave.

Remember these most important facts of life, and facts of experience:

  •  You can forgive a person YET stay very clear of the person and still have absolutely NO connection with the person.  Forgiveness still counts and you have done your part, that you needed to do.
  • (See sentence above this one after you read this) –   Interpreted that means that you can block their phone numbers, take them off your friends’ lists, block everything that could or did come from them, from their address, from their phone number.
  • Or, you can actually add their phone number to your phone but SAVE the number as “Scammer”  or “Fraudulent – don’t answer”  or  “Dontbelieveawordtheysay”  .    Save their phone number in your phone as something like that — and then if it rings, you can just ignore it, file it etc. and remind yourself how you need to steer clear of them.       The purpose of saving the number is then they have no way of knowing that you have blocked them and they can ring to their heart’s content and you are unbothered by the calls.
  • Or, you can have two phones —   Save one phone for real connections, and the other phone – the number they already have can be for the npdbully .  Again, the calls will process yet you don’t hear them because the phone is totally off, disconnected or charging all the time.
  • Put a  “private property’ sign at a strategic location on your property.
  • Install the  RING phone camera security system.    This is great!   You can see whoever approaches your door even before they reach your door.   Don’t answer to strangers, and don’t answer to  the NPD bully.
  • NOW, MOST OF ALL,   celebrate life joyfully.  Enjoy the peace and serenity of your new life!    Really, really enjoy life in the unbullied experience.     Enjoy your real family and your real friends and your real acquaintances (those who do not bully) and enjoy life to the fullest.   This truly is the season of peace, and this truly is the first day of the rest of your life.

The reason you read articles like this is because of the high-societal pressure that exists around almost all holiday times.    And people need articles like this to remember and to re-remember what’s really what in order to protect themselves from accidentally being re-connected even for a split second.     So, read and re-read.

Protect yourself from the NPD bullies of the world.     And please share your own feelings here and your own experience — perhaps share what helps you —  Thank you.    (After this link, there are lines and then a few more ideas, and then more lines …. after that there should be room to leave comments).

Not Everyone Needs to be connected

 












































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