The entry in which I clear up the mystery
One Of The Key Things Missing Is
the ‘persistence’ or the ‘continued’ words.
A lot of people think that name-calling and or being verbally rude to someone or making fun of someone is bullying. But think about this, most children, kids or even teens , and sometimes adults have called someone a name at one time or another during their lifetime. That doesn’t make the person a bully.
Every Kid Has Called Someone A Name (And So Have Some Adults Done The Same)
Kids, in general, as they are growing and learning, will call someone a name. They’ll even call names to people that they like etc, that’s growing and learning. Someone teaches them – that’s not good; that’s not right. And they learn and they change the way that they act towards someone.
So the generalization , that we’ve seen online or in public or even in schools etc. where individuals are being labeled as bullies, is just a generalization until it’s cleared up.
So if a kid calls you a name once. That’s not bullying. That’s a chance to teach this kid. And don’t assume the kid should have been taught at home. What about those kids that are having street-lives, or living in homes where there are druggers or criminals? Yes, even criminals or drug abusers or muggers or whatever, even they have kids sometimes. And that means, when you see a kid acting out, calling someone a name or acting rude to someone, don’t assume that they know this is not a good thing to do.
AND next, we can not assume that every single person that has ever called someone a name is a bully.
Bullying is Persistent..
not a one-time thing)
So, key here is that bullying is persistent. Bullying doesn’t stop once the victim or target says, “no” or “stop it”. Bullying continues and persists.
Once you see the persistence and the consistency of the name -calling and or verbal abuse or emotional abuse, then you can clearly label that bullying.
And Some Bullying Can Persist Over A Lifetime
Those are your lifetime bullies, the stalker-bullies. These are the toughest bullies to get away from , simply because they refuse to allow you to get away from them. It doesn’t matter if you’ve called the police, or if you’ve already been to court with them, none of that matters with the stalker-bullies.
So, when society nags and taunts, “just walk away”, that’s not helping some of the most targeted individuals. Yes, I agreed. Walk away. Get Away. But let’s not let that be the battle cry and then ignore the victims or tell the victims that they ‘want to be bullied’ or that they are ‘allowing themselves to be bullied’ because that is not true.
No One Wants To Be Bullied
No One Allows Themselves To Be Bullied
And that’s the truth. There is not a person in this world that enjoys being bullied. And if you say that, there is probably something very wrong with you. Perhaps YOU are the bully?
Why would you think that anyone would want to be hurt, harmed, made fun of , stalked, or bullied in any way , shape or form? Mind boggling , correct?
Take the Turpin case. Do you think that the Turpin targets wanted to be kept prisoner? No.
Same thing with those that are targeted by bullies. No. They don’t want to be targeted. They don’t want to be bullied. Yet, to read some blog out there, you might get that message.
If someone called you names as a child, and they weren’t persistent, that’s not bullying. It’s not nice. And it’s rude, but that’s not bullying. That’s a child being a child. Educate those children. It is once they persist, and single you out. Once they just never give up. Once they keep on calling you names and they don’t stop — That’s bullying.
To Authors, Writers, and Artists
Please if you can, if you want to , if you write about bullying, can you help spread the word, the word about persistence in relation to name calling , and persistence in relation to bullying? It just would be helpful to the kids and to the adults that are being bullied. It is always helpful to clarify things, to be precise. It’s both helpful to the target and to the bully. It is not good to label a child or a teen as a bully just because that kid called someone a name. Have you ever called anyone a name ? Are you a bully? See what I mean. Yes, good people have called people names. That doesn’t make them bullies. Just to be clear, I’m totally against name calling and I’m totally against making fun of people. I just don’t want kids and teens and adults to be mis-labeled as bullies when they are not bullies. Thanks for reading. I recommend this book – pictured below
FREE US FROM BULLYING by Paul T. Coughlin
Nobody, that’s right, nobody asks to be bullied and nobody wants to be bullied, ever.
Nobody is a bully just because they called a person a name.
Glad that’s cleared up.
Hope this helps someone .
Stop gossip and you can stop the bully.
Most bullying begins with gossip, with name-calling and with verbal abuse. So when you hear gossip, tell the person that you do not speak about anyone unless the person is right in the room with you. Therefore, that stops gossip right away.
Stop the gossip and you can stop the bully
I will leave a photograph here to end this entry.