NOTE: This is about my photography, my style of photography , when it comes to taking self-portraits. And there is a little background of how I began using this style of portraits , many decades ago .
Below, a “selfie”
First a little about “targets”
About “Targets” :
When someone is being bullied for years on end by the same person, they want to be invisible, yet they as human nature would have it want to be connected and included in their world and surroundings.
A person who is a target might, if they are an artist, photographer, or creative type, might begin taking selfies that ‘include’ the self, yet the person remains ‘invisible’ so that the bully doesn’t see the person. Distancing yourself from the bully is important and sometimes that means even taking yourself ‘out of the picture’ . So there you go, now you know the reason for the mysterious “selfies’.
An ‘early’ selfie, taken decades ago – below
That photo – shadow in the forest – was taken in the year 2000 or 2001 . (Any later dates on the photos url are because the photos were ‘put’ onto the computer at later dates, on various portable storage devices.
Bullying over Decades and Invisible Selfies:
This picture below is one that I took years ago or decades ago.
Someone has targeted me for decades, and decades ago, I began taking invisible selfies. This is more recent. I am , hopefully, free now. But I still like the style of an “invisible selfie”. Yes, silly you, that’s an elbow. You can find ‘targets’ amongst your own friends and family. Sometimes targets leave class early and get there late. Other times targets miss family events (in order to avoid one particular person). But, as time passes, the target will materialize, take their place in society, and they will no longer be silent, nor invisible completely.
More recent selfie, because I still like taking invisible selfies, and I love the forest and preserve areas of the land.
Headphones Help Targets Re-enter Society:
Do you know someone who wears headphones all the time? Possibly that person might be a target. I am not saying this is the case always ,but I’m saying it’s a possibility the person is a target, a silent target.
I know. When I lived in close quarters with a bully, (when I lived in the same building), I wore headphones all the time. Even now, out in public, you might see me with headphones in public areas. And that is to avoid the ‘bully’ who still, to this day ‘looks for me’ . I am no longer staying ‘out of society’. I am trying to take part, to get out more. But I take my strong faith in the God of Peace, and my headphones with me. If I am with you and you see me put the headphones on my ears, it means I have spotted the bully and I am using my first method of avoidance, ‘close your ears’ to what the bully says. And in a few moments after that, depending on how strong I feel, I will either stand my ground or leave the place. No more bullies.
DOUBLE Advantages: Headphones ,
Using headphones as a defense serves two purposes. First it is a visible thing that can alert people around you that the bully is near you or approaching you. (And yes, sometimes I have used headphones when the bully wasn’t around and then regular people approach and I must remember to take the headphones off. They can become a habit , when worn every other day.
Secondly, what you put onto your phone or radio, the music or the talk that you hear through the headphones can strengthen you, give you courage, and remind you that you have a strong faith . So, you are using a tool , the music or the talk , to get stronger and stronger in courage to be able to conquer your fear of the bully. So, headphones work.
And yes, we need to help targets become more visible. I will always take photos like this, because these were my ticket to be ‘invisible’, slowly, one step at a time.
About the pictures below, these are only some of the selfies that I have taken over the years. In some of the pictures, you will see a real portrait, a person. Most of the ones where I am visible, it is because I am on television. At the television studio, I felt safe, because the bully refuses to come near the tv studio. In fact, for decades, the bully has tried to get me to stop producing television. There are times, that I might retreat, but so far, I’m keeping at it.
In June, 2015, I finally became a bit brave and began appearing in photographs, hence, “lightbulb moment” .
It is probably around the time that I began putting pictures online at various sites. Since 1991, I’ve been “visible” on television but invisible in photographs. One of the oldest invisible selfies that I took was the one shadow where there is a vintage light on the wall and the shadow is on the bottom left hand side of the photograph. That was taken in the 90s in New York City, between Brooklyn, and Manhattan, NYS.
What happened to make me more ‘visible’, in photographs? What happened was that the bully stepped up the bullying and at that point, since my brother was gone, I decided it was time to stop hiding from the camera. The person should not have stepped up the bullying after my brother died. That was a mistake. Yet, this was the mistake that really freed me. Today, I feel free. I might not be free, totally, because the bully is still around and still anxious to get near me and to start speaking with me , once again. Today , I feel strong and I feel safer than I had felt in the past.
Part of the reason for this feeling is because of two things:
- A more intense spiritual connection, and that helps me immensely .
- I did a video called, “The Un-silencing of Me” and making that video public was a step in the right direction. It is time that I use my voice to help myself get away from the bully.
Today , I am not afraid of ‘being in pictures’ though I do not like ‘posed’ pictures because these are not real. Candids are better, for me, anyway. Why ‘pose’ for a picture when you can just be real and just let life happen? The only posed pictures of myself that I have are my ‘INVISIBLE ” selfys.
A recent self that I took, look close; Yes, I’m in there.
I am an Executive Producer of a regular show that airs on community television.
Collection of INVISIBLE and visible selfys below:
Please make me visible, connected with the world, by making a comment. Let me know that you have seen me here, in my photographs. Your words are greatly appreciated.
If the bully continues to stay away from me , I will not reveal the bully’s name nor show a photograph of the bully. That’s the plan for now. I believe this is a good plan.
My true and real defense is my faith in God. It is only God, the God of Peace , Who has protected me throughout my life. And I must acknowledge that because truth is important.
My thanks, first, always and forever , is to God. You have read a lot here and you have learned a lot about parts of my life. If you want to help out here, you can help by simply leaving a note — so that I know that someone has read here.
Are you visible or invisible?
Peace on your journey.
And Happy New Year!